Blended Families

Engaging shows and movies like Modern Family and We are Family, depict colourful and vibrant blended families. Families where different people of varied sensibilities and different upbringings find a common ground and a create a unique blend much like a slurpy mango-strawberry-cacao smoothie!

Reel life often depict the best part of reality. These shows reveal the absolute uniqueness of a blended family yet real life can be a bit more complicated and daunting because different people who are heirs to different estates come together— there’s your new spouse, your new spouse’s children/step-children and your own kids/step-kids.

As estate planners our gaze necessarily goes deeper because there is so much more to consider and anticipate in a blended family. When people from different estates come together, simple issues can become convoluted- will the father’s children get a proper share of his estate? Will the estate be guarded against extravagances by the additional family members and how do we ensure that the heirs get their due?

You see, even if relations are cordial and affectionate, life is too long and affections too uncertain to provide guarantees.

That’s where estate planning can help.

With its emphasis on looking deep into all the eventualities, estate planning can provide a more sustainable solution than mere hope, to ensure that there is least damage and maximum benefit to all members in a blended family.

What extra do we need to plan for in
blended families?

Plan to protect your children’s share :

If both spouses have children from their earlier marriages and they also bring in their own sizeable assets then some simple steps can help ensure that your children get a part of your estate.

Generally, in plain-vanilla families, spouses usually create a simple Will leaving everything to the remaining spouse and after one spouse’s death the surviving one inherits the estate.

But think, if the surviving spouse, in a blended family, creates a new Will leaving all to his/her children and cutting the other’s children out of the Will.

How do you plan to ensure that your children don’t suffer needlessly?

Go deeper than just a trust :

In many cases, people think of creating trusts to manage such issues, but we have also seen cases where sometimes even creating a trust is not enough.

Imagine if you create a trust naming your spouse as the beneficiary and your children as remainder beneficiaries (let’s assume your spouse has no children). Can something go wrong here too?

Sometimes the children become resentful if the surviving spouse starts using up the money extravagantly. They might see their own wealth diminishing and might go to court to protect it.

How do you plan to avoid unnecessary bad blood and litigation?

Planning for draining expenses :

In ancient Rome, Cato the Elder once remarked, “Even though work stops, expenses run on.” It seems that since then nothing has truly changed. Even in our modern day, expenses only seem to increase.

Now imagine, what happens if one of the partners requires long-term medical care? The assets of the care-giving spouse could be badly diminished by the time it goes to his/her children and can lead to resentments.

Is there a way that the care-giving spouse can ensure his/her children receive an adequate amount without the care-expenses diminishing it all?

The thing is no one can guarantee that affections and affiliations remain constant through the years. It’s difficult to guarantee that even in non-blended families but the fact remains that due to its very nature, blended families can have more complications. Being an ostrich and hiding your head in sand never helped solve a problem. The best way to solve a problem is by anticipating it and finding a way to prevent or circumvent it.

What can you do :

1. Don’t copy-paste:

The simple copy paste Wills don’t work in this case especially when children are heirs of different estates. You need to step back and see clearly without emotional baggage to understand what all can/ could happen and plan accordingly.

2. Get an expert to weigh in:

The fact is that distance gives a perspective which is often absent when we plan for our own estates because we look at everything through the lens of emotions. An expert who can anticipate and help us see the possibilities and the pitfalls is a good investment to ensure that your family bonds stay strong.

3. Go beyond the ordinary:

A blended family has unique needs and you cannot expect a simple Will or a trust to work through all the complications. You will need to find solutions that work especially for you and your family, maybe a joint Will or a trust managed by an independent trustee will work better than a simple Will or trust.